Fintan from our home village of Clumdangen arrived yesterday to visit us here at the festival. He came into the kitchen this morning wearing these yokes from Tom Ford. He said they’re a new design that provides maximum air circulation for the family jewels whilst sporting a stylish and masculine trouser design. There was always a rumor about the size of Fintan’s assets so we wonder if there’s not another reason for the roomy proportions of his pants….. find out more tonight!
Nuala left her straighteners on last night before we left for the show and the whole building went up like a matchstick. We had to spend the night at Studio 3 and found out that William Butler Cootie and all the Assembly staff party til the wee hours in our lecture hall when the bars close down in the Garden area. We haven’t slept in 48 hours and are feeling oddly excited and a slightly unusual. Why are we in Edinburgh again?….
We found this photo of 4-year old Red Headed Nuala amongst our papers yesterday. It all makes sense now; we understand where her need to lick things comes from and why she insists on having a vanilla sponge cake with cream filling on all our dressing room ryders (that’s the list of things we can’t live without in the dressing room). William Butler Cootie, the director of Assembly, gave in and has provided us with fresh cupcakes everyday but Nuala has to save the raspberry filled ones for him.
We went to this show today called ‘I Ate My Baby Because I Thought It Was a Hamburger’. It’s a new avant garde piece from the Scottish National Theatre that involves live haggis stuffing on stage, a whole pig being roasted on a spit, and Nicholas Parsons performing a Highland Fling in a very short kilt. The latter is slightly disturbing because Mr. Parsons almost fell over a couple of times but auld Nicholas was mighty delighted with himself at the end!
OH MY GOD! Face sock. We were out with the Rubberbandits and joined in, Nuala couldn’t resist. We’ve decided to sell out Bandit Bandages after the show at the merch table. They’re flying out the door. It’s so feckin’ cold at night here in Edinburgh that we wear them out in the evenings as well. Keep the Lady Boys of Bankok from attacking us when we walk across the meadows on the way home. Rockin’.
We went to the seashore for a wee break from all the festival madness and met Manolo Blahnik on the beach. He was so excited to meet us and said he was a big fan, he collected some shells and came up with these shoes for us. Nuala fell over twice. We realized we probably couldn’t use them for the show but they’re great in the rain! Back again 6.30pm tonight for the show!
Tom Ford came to the show and loved it so much that he came back to the dressing room to say hello. Nuala was telling him how chilly it is in Ireland and how her husband Fintan finds it particularly so in the nether regions. He sent this new design over to combat the impending winter chill. Tom calls it the Wee Willy Wonder Warmer. Fintan reported that it’s grand but chafes a bit. @AssemblyFest #nualasdoed @MariaTecce